It's funny how I can think I am looking up something to help someone else...but really God is using that person as a mirror to point out exactly what I need to face.
I wrote this morning about learning how to love ourselves - especially the deepest, darkest places that as we get closer, cause us to implode. It hit a nerve that has jolted me like an electric shot.
And I want to run.
As much as I know "wherever you go there you are"...that my problems are never outside, but inside...There is something about running away - escaping, that is a desperate relief.
It's always there, available at anytime, right? Except when you have a 3 year old. When you have children in a far away country counting on you. Running away just isn't an option.
So what now?
I forgive myself. I breathe into my dark places and make peace. I choose to do the next right thing, think the next right thought.
I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror this morning and realized no one has it together. Every single one of us is just trying to do the next best thing.
What a reminder to be compassionate to one another and cut each other some slack (whether it's in the parking lot or dealing with less than quick service at a store or restaurant).
We've all got a boat load of stuff we're trying to sort through, choices we're trying to make that are "good"...
In this season of giving, maybe the best gifts we can give are actually loving ourselves and choosing compassion.
Ho, ho, ho.