When is the last time you thought about all the great things you’ve done?
As someone who struggles with performance based love, I can find myself focused on the things I need to do better. Thankfully, this season is testing me and helping transform my perspective on all things love.
Yes, I said thankfully, because the more love I have for myself, the more love I give others. If I continue to believe actions and love are intertwined, then I will project this belief to others. The last thing I want to do is accidently teach my 6 year old son that I will love him more when he does his best.
Before the virus, I had at least 3-4 hours every day of my own time. Anders was in school or summer camps, and I was free to accomplish so much. 15 hours a week! Amazing.
Now, the only time I am not with Anders is when he is sleeping or at his once per week spend the night at his grandmother’s house.
Anders is full of life and has a lot to say. The energy and chatter are constant. I’ve always loved my quiet time. To say this experience is stretching me is an understatement. Nonstop patience - something I’ve always had difficulty with - is a requirement. By 4pm, I am maxed out.
Such is the life of a parent these days.
The great news...if we choose to use this time to evolve our hearts and our minds, just think what life will be like once we can return to “normal”. So I challenge you to think about the 3 things you’ve done that are great.
Maybe they are: making breakfast for your family, writing 3 things you’re grateful for while your child is brushing his teeth and putting on his clothes, giving your family a good morning hug.
These are all things sourced by love. Robert Holden writes in “Loveability” that love is not just an enabler for success; love is success.
So maybe that’s the key to defining our lives. Success comes from how loving we are to ourselves and to others.
Imagine if that were the way we defined a politician’s success, or a teacher’s success or a CEO. Every major religion has at its core the commandment to love….that God is love. So why don’t we infuse every single role in life with love? Why isn’t love a requirement for the job?
Today, let’s let ourselves off the hook for the mistakes we made yesterday. We’ve got a fresh start. Breathe deeply. Find a face in the clouds. Share a laugh with your child. Better yet, laugh at yourself when you make a mistake. Make sure your children are there to witness. Catch yourself if you start the comparison game.
Remember the great things you’ve done from a place of love. Choose this as your definition of success!