Are you the judge and the defendant of your life?
Do you wake up every morning feeling like you have to do your best or else?
It’s an exhausting way to live life. I know all about it because I struggle with judging myself every day. Robert Holden, Ph.D. writes in “Loveability” that when we judge ourselves, it’s because we don’t feel loveable.
Here’s his realization - “The more you love yourself, the more people feel loved by you.”
What would happen if you loved yourself more? If you decided to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and downshift into 3rd gear instead of constantly revving the engine in 4th?. You’d open up space for a breath.
One focused breath, that’s all we need to release the tightness in our shoulders, face, arms. One breath to literally cut ourselves some slack and loosen up.
If you chose to take a step back from the rush of the day and to live in the moment, how would this influence your joy?
I just watched a great video called “An Introduction to Joy” by @realrobbell. His premise - we think we need to find joy in the mountain tops, but he points out with amusing examples how we can find joy in the everyday. But we have to be living in the present to find them.
Some of us choose to take life so seriously. Here’s the ultimate “seriousness” - we are all going to die. There is nothing we can do to change the expiration of our life. So why not choose to do everything we can to love ourselves. To live in the moment. To see the joy.
How would this benefit your children? Would they have a happier life? What about your friends, partners, family?
This is a great exercise for your journal writing, again thanks to Robert Holden. Finish this sentence - “If I really loved myself I would…”
Here’s what I came up with.
If I really loved myself I would set myself free from caring about what others think. This encompasses what they think about life, politics, religion. It also includes what they think about me. Then, I would have 100% of my energy devoted to what I really care about and could get so much more done without the distractions of others.
What about you?