I erupted like a volcano.
I’ve been holding in anger and pain for at least 3 months. The polarization of wearing masks drove me to my breaking point.
I depend on my family to keep my sanity.
As a single mom of a 5 year old, I rely on my 82 year old mom for weekly sleepovers so I can refuel. Every minute my son is awake, it seems like he needs something from me. I want to give him my best, but in order to do that, I have to have time to regroup. You know, to experience the simple things, like going to the bathroom in privacy without being shot at by a Nurf gun. This weekly 24 hour break is a vacation for my soul.
My son Anders loves our trips to see my brother and sister-in-law and his two cousins at the lake. They only live about 20 minutes away from us and it’s a blessing they are so close. But one of my nephews has a number of brutal health conditions including cerebral palsy, a severe seizure disorder, epilepsy...Even a cold can send him to the hospital because he can’t get enough oxygen. I can’t even imagine what would happen if he ended up with this virus.
Anders thrives on the love and attention he receives from his family. After all, “Mom is boring”, or so he says. Doesn’t everyone need a little additional sugar and spice now and then?
But I can’t jeopardize the lives of my family and I’m doing that any time I am exposed to people, especially those not wearing masks. I rely on those in my closest circle to wear masks and when they continued to resist, it finally came to a head.
How could people who claim to be Christians, refuse to protect one another and intentionally put another in harm’s way?
I was triggered constantly by the lack of concern for the health of others, my own included, and I finally needed to remove the buttons. I couldn’t go on this way. The responsibility, the burden, the weight of their health was too great. I couldn’t continue to ignore the person I loved to put the situation out of my heart. I had to release my truth. My heart was broken.
When I had this real conversation with my loved one, it finally got through. I have not cried like that in a really long time. The kind of crying that pours out of your soul, your brokenness. But it removed the button that was triggering my suffering. I spoke from my heart. I wept. And I was heard.
The power of love, soul to soul connection, speaking my truth, running towards my suffering. I was set free.